Friday, January 06, 2006

Apparently Born to Flock is Being BOYCOTTED


From time to time, we all run into dipshits out in blogland. I am somewhat vocal (I guess) and I draw in my fair share of those types. One of these guys stands out and irritates me almost as much as Tidy Bowl. Since I have dealt with that topic previously, I will move on to the next blog-ruffian - Hairy Prison Guard.

This guy has apparently spent one too many days in solitary confinement. My guess is that he is some sort of a red-neck, inbred bumpkin (ie Tidy's brother and husband) that got his jollies out of exerting his will over those in confinement. Now he thinks he can punk me like he did those prisoners under his watch. Tidy and Hairy seem to share the same opinions - I can't help but wonder whether they know each other.

I will not soon be sharing a shower facility with you Hairy. If you do not like the subject matter here, perhaps you should move on. I will share the same response with you that I shared with my good friend (whom I like to talk about incessently) Drea. That is as follows:

"This is my blog. There are many blogs like it, but this one is mine.

"My blog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

"My blog, without me, is useless. Without my blog, I am useless. I must fire my blog true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I WILL...

"My blog and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. WE WILL HIT...

"My blog is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my blog clean and ready. We will become part of each other. WE WILL...

"Before God, I swear this creed. My blog and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. WE ARE THE SAVIORS OF MY LIFE. So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but peace! "

Tidy (I know you still read my blog as a guilty pleasure), please note the non-traditional use of the quotation marks. To buck tradition one step further, I am also quoting myself (which such quote was, of course, ripped off from the Marine Corps).

Unlike Tidy, I interject some original thought with my thievery.

I encourage Hairy and Tidy to continue their BOYCOTT. Drea can stick around since she has a giant hard-on for me and wants me to butter her muffin.

Confidential to Hairy - a BOYCOTT is when you stop purchasing a product or service in order to exert your political or personal agenda on someone. That would mandate that you actually stop coming here and leaving me comments. Please start BOYCOTTING me the correct way.


Confidential to everyone else - I declare a reverse BOYCOTT on Hairy. I have added his link back to my Blogs of Note. Feel free to go there and tell him what you think about him and his "blog."

18 Comments:

Blogger Drea provided this enlightening comment...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:37 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Someone commented and then chickened out. Hairy, was that you??

11:47 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

It was Drea. She said that I am not a friend of hers, I am just some dude on a blog. She also said that she finds my offers to butter her muffin offensive.

Strange, she usually misses the point. For once, her reading comprehension skills did not fail her.

11:53 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I am growing a whole new repect for you, Pinky.

Good Post man.

The only thing I find dissapointing is that you never state you want to butter my muffin. Even when I offer. This makes me sad.

12:32 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Drea provided this enlightening comment...

Flamingo I deleted the comment because I saw no point in posting it. I wasn't chickening out. I have no reason to.
I just thought I'd keep my thoughts to myself on this one. Rather than joining you all.

12:50 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Drea, I think you should keep your thoughts to yourself - ALWAYS (with wings.)

1:09 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Cooter provided this enlightening comment...

Some folks just can't handle other folks' opinions I reckon. And when it sticks in their craw sufficiently, they feel disposed to ramble on and boycot ya and so on and so forth. Intolerance is a cryin shame. So is a sheep with a rectal tear if ya know what I mean!

1:12 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Yes, Hairy Prison Guard and Travis know exactly what you mean, cooter.

1:13 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Cooter provided this enlightening comment...

Thank ya kindly, Ma'am.

Well, now that we know each other a little bit better, why don't you come over here and help me haul out my ashes! C'mon, what are friends for?

2:26 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Drea - no need to apologize. I can sense your overpowering attraction for me. I understand that there is a very fine line between hate and raucous boot knocking. Don't be afraid to cross that line.

2:36 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Eddie provided this enlightening comment...

Rhonda and I cross that line every nite.

2:52 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Ranando provided this enlightening comment...

I'm right here with you.

Fuck em!

The Ranando Report

6:48 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

Prison Guard isn't even a creative made-up character.

Fuck em.

9:09 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Eve provided this enlightening comment...

I thought that you guys had kissed and made up?!

2:47 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger BadGod provided this enlightening comment...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:13 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger BadGod provided this enlightening comment...

Oops, posted comment to wrong blog.

6:30 AM, January 08, 2006  
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