Sunday, December 18, 2005

Working on the Weekend

I hate working on the weekend...but here I am busting my ass on Sunday. I went in-house to avoid this as much as possible. What I found is that the "Cushy In-House Position" is an illusion; a myth. It is like Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster. Oh, sure, there are a few fuzzy pictures of attorneys going to work at 9:00 and leaving at 5 every day without their laptop and a pile of documents, but there isn't any real physical evidence that they exist in the real world. No one has actually shot one and brought in its carcass as proof.

So, here I am, busting my ass on December 18, 2005 to get as much done as I am able.

But it won't cut off the inevitable. At some point during the coming week, I will get several phone calls regarding things I couldn't complete before leaving town.

While I am on a rant, I may as well state that much of my frustration is not from the legal work that I do. It is the huge amount of non-legal babysitting that I do that is frustrating.

Anyone who works in corporate America - Cube-ville - can tell you that people that know what they are doing and really understand it are rare. There are many people that should not have the jobs that they occupy - either too stupid or too lazy or some combination of the two. Read Dilbert. That guy has made a living poking fun at that very premise. It is funny because it is 90% true and 10% exaggerated.

Consequently, I end up doing more than analyzing issues for legal risk and drafting documents to address such legal risk. I end up wiping asses and noses.

I am going to insert - verbatim - an e-mail I recently received from a "documentation specialist"

The E-mail correspondence read as follows:

"I am trying to do a subordination agreement and I am unable to use all of the companies. So Meghan and I retyped the Subordination Agreement off of Laser Pro and I am going to insert the companies."

This was all of the information they gave me. They never told me which transaction this was. They never told me what was being subordinated, why it was being subordinated nor even which agreement about which they were talking. They never told me what companies were involved, why they wouldn't fit or in what capacity they were involved. I didn't even know who the author was nor who Meghan was.

Yet they wanted an answer right what may have been a word-processing issue. To this day, I still don't know if there may have been some legal component to this request as my inquiry for more information was responded to with the following:

"Per ____, we closed the Subordination agreements, We typed word for word from laser pro."

RECALL: this is a person whose job title is "Documentation Specialist." I stay up at night worrying what the documents she drafts look like.

I keep e-mails like this in a folder called "E-Mail of the Week." I think that I will someday put together a power-point presentation on communication and use these all as examples of how poorly people communicate.

I don't mind getting calls from people, while I am out of the office, regarding issues which they have considered, analyzed and have determined require legal analysis. BUT it pisses me off when some moron that doesn't know how to do their own job calls me up so that I can train them to do what they have been paid to do for the last several years.

These same people do come in at 9:00 and leave at 5:00 every day.

My favorite is when someone calls and leaves me a voicemail message at 4:59 asking me to do some project right away and when I call them back 5 minutes later they are already gone for the day.

I can assure you that the average individual clamoring for the work product that I have been producing over the last week has worked approximately 1/2 of the hours that I have worked this last week. I can also assure you that this average person will not even read what I produce and will not understand how it impacts what they do on a daily basis - other than they need it because somebody told them that they have to have it.

These people are at all levels. One of the worst communicators/violators of this is a vice president with an MBA. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how he manages to dress himself in the morning.

Don't pay too much attention to this, I'm just letting off some steam that resulted from too much work, too little time and the pressure of the holiday season.

Hopefully I will have some time soon, to let off a little creative steam instead of pissing and moaning about dumb and annoying people.


Blogger Eve provided this enlightening comment...



You're at work on a sunday.

Stopping blogging.

Get your shit done.

Go home.


(sorry for the Sunday worky. That sucks!)

7:58 PM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger HighMaintenanceHussy provided this enlightening comment...

I want to give you a backrub.

1:54 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

I want to give you a foot massage.

Hey, you had it nice at the Rock buddy. I tried to tell you that 9-5 banker's hours went out with the 80's but you wouldn't listen. For what its worth, I haven't come in on a weekdend for about 6 months.

Hope this helps! ;)

7:30 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger garrett provided this enlightening comment...

At least you get to spend the next week up in Iowa. Don't forget your golf clubs. By the way, I was a little frustrated myself this weekend. My daughter and I were out playing in the backyard and it was only about 60 degrees out. That is just not quite warm enough to be truly comfortable without a long-sleeved shirt and socks on. My poor daughter actually needed a jacket. Disgusting.

Anyway, have a great trip!!

8:54 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

I've talked to the powers that be and I've negotiated a package for you that I think you'll find more than fair. You can return as a second year (a small disloyalty dock given the circumstances) working directly under Weill. Now that's a square deal any way you slice it! Are you in?

9:06 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

Urelated topic. Just left the WC and somebody here apparently has diarrhea today, which is niether here nor there axcept that this diarrhea-sufferer apparently has such fierce diarrhea that its stuck to the hopper BELOW THE WATER LINE. Think about that. The poor f-er has dookie exiting his beehine with such force that it wa sable to penetrate 2-3 inches of H2O and permanently (as evidenced by mult. flushes on my part) affix itself to porcelain. Oh the humanity of it all!

9:15 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger crusher provided this enlightening comment...

Can I get in the massage train?

9:32 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

Lastly, I noticed something today. I bought a box of Club crackers for office use (the reduced fat version of course) and I can safely say that these crackers are identical in taste to Ritz crackers. I've been eating these all my life. Why did I not notice this sooner? I'll admit, the Ritz are flakier and messier, but they are are darn close taste-wise.

Flamingo, where you at buddy? C'mon, I'm not busy here and need a distraction.

Flamingo....Flamingo....come out to plaaaaaaayyyyy.....

9:32 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I want to give you a blowjob.

The Dumb & Dumber sure seem to be among those idiots you have described.

People have become very lazy. No one takes responsibility for their actions anyomore. Everyone feels as though they're owed something. My generation sucks!

Also, your job seems very boring, Pinky. How long have you been doing this? Your much too creative to do this.

I send kisses to them love nuts.

10:16 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

Crusher, up to you, but I'd look into pdd's offer first.

10:40 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

I never post my profession and I don't expect you to post yours, but I am curious as to what kind of work you do.

We should chat sometime.

I luckily don't have to work with many people when I am on shift... it's usually alone, with contact with a few people, who are just fine to work with. Your situation sounds like not much fun though... flakey people who can't communicate are frustrating. Been there.

12:20 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Eve provided this enlightening comment...

Psychic... I'M already under his desk doing THAT?! ;)

he he

Flamingo is enjoying this WAY too much!!!

12:21 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Nowhere Girl, can we take turns?

Okay, as all of you already know, I have a HUGE crush on Pinky. He just seems to be so sexy, and I can not get him out of my mind.

When I said I warm my muffin under the covers at night while thinking of Pinky, I do.

You make my panties dance Pinky.

If only I weren't married and if only you weren't married and if only we could have one night.

12:37 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I'm leaving early today. This week is supposed to be our holiday vacation. I come in tomorrow as well for a little bit (I think).

Keep those love nuts warm.

2:07 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger MsAmber provided this enlightening comment...

I don't feel the least bit sorry for you dude.
You get paid for it, doncha?


5:53 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Don't feel sorry for me...I do get paid and it is a great job. Many people think what I do is boring, but I do enjoy it. I am an attorney and I practice real estate and commercial finance. Most of what I do involves advising people how to structure loan transactions so that we can someday get paid back and assisting with documents to do the same thing.

Did you see old the very beginning of the movie, they make fun of Luke Wilson's character for being a boring real estate attorney and attending boring conferences. That is my life.

6:15 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Eve provided this enlightening comment...

Hmmm, I deal with your sort in my profession.

I love lawyers, though all of my lawyer friends are into some bizarro underground shit.

Your's must be riding motorcycles, sporting showtunes, and singing cabaret. ;)

Flamingo, you seemed stressed. You have been incredibly serious these days...

10:18 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

We want to buy a house sometime. Get your ass up to the rainy dreary grounds of Oregon and help us!

10:51 PM, December 19, 2005  

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