Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Happy F'ing Holidays


Work is going nuts.
Home is going nuts.
In less than a week I have to travel FROM SUNNY ARIZONA to the frozen tundra that is Iowa (see photo of what it will look like where I will be next week).

So, I get to spend a ton of money to get there, work my ass off twice as much as usual....for this.

Meanwhile a friend of mine here in my office will be on a cruise to Acapulco and Cabo.

Life is not fair.

P.S. Hairy Prison Guard is a dirty scoundrel.

39 Comments:

Blogger HizzleThizzle provided this enlightening comment...

Lucky friend! Maybe his/her boat will sink.

10:59 PM, December 14, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

C'mon up here buddy, we got a nice cold rental car waiting for you in the wind-whipped Avis parking lot at the Des Moines Inter-Continental Airport! If you need to excape your family, you can always make the easy two-hour trip over to the Rock. I'd even offer to school you upstairs in the basketball court if you insist.

7:10 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Now you know how I feel.

7:13 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Erin O'Brien provided this enlightening comment...

Greetings from Cleveland.

Buck up, don't eff up! And do I not remember some big hairy Viking telling us all to quit our bitching and give thanks just a few weeks ago in a Thanksgiving Eve post?

Hmm?

Now then, you will find out how much I let the cold and snow bother me if you drop in at my place today (12-15-05) and view the pic my dearly beloved took just for you people.

7:51 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

You are my love nuts

8:29 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Hairy Prison Guard provided this enlightening comment...

I just wanted to let you all know that the BOYCOTT is officially over. I found about why Flamingo1 is such a troubled, lost and flip-flopping soul over on that blog by that person that called herself Nowhere Girl. Flamingo just needs to let Jesus into his life. Then he will probably be a much more balanced person who is capable of telling the truth about the level of sensitivity of which he is capable.

For that reason, Flamingo, I forgive you for your slur at the bottom of this post. And I hope the sun shines brightly on your balding head during your trip to the Tall Corn State.

I spent some time at the prison there in Fort Madison. Have you ever been there? I wasn't working as a prison guard there. I was an inmate. But that is where I first got interested in the profession of being a prison guard.

So, to sum up - I apologize for BOYCOTTING you. If I had realized that all you needed was someone to share with you the beauty and grace that having a personal relationship with Jesus can provide, I never would have BOYCOTTED you. I thought you were a jerk. I am glad to know that you just need help.

9:00 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Fine, ERIN! I am grateful for the opportunity to freeze my ass off in 10 inches of snow (for $2000+ in travel costs) when I could be playing golf in Phoenix.

Did that sound sincere??

9:01 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Hairy Prison Guard you are not capable of boycotting anything since you are a glorified buffoon.

Pinky, whatever offensive thing you said in the past to this buffoon, I suggest you repeat it again.

9:13 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

PDD, that guy has been harassing me for months. I used to have his blog on my Blogs of Note, but he was too damn annoying and didn't post enough, so I dropped him.

since being dropped, he has been absolutely on my ass and constantly attacking me. If he knows what is good for him, he will back off. I'm not about to disappear like NWG.

FYI, it is still legal to carry a handgun in Arizona as long as you have it out in the open. Cowboy law lives and I live in a cowboy state.

9:22 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Isn't there a new movie out about cowboys?
Are you that kind of cowboy?

Do you like going to bars and asking other men if you can push their stool in for them?

9:33 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

There is a new movie out about cowboys, however I am not a stool pusher.

I'm a little concerned about HPG, however - all those years working in prisons have probably made him a little "curious."

9:43 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, I want to ride you like a good cowgirl should!

9:47 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger The Phoenix provided this enlightening comment...

Do cars actually work in the ice cold arctic that is Iowa this time of year? I thought people just forgo the automobile and get out the huskies.

9:48 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, put that gun to good use; stick it up HPG ass for curiosity's sake

9:49 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Hairy Prison Guard provided this enlightening comment...

I have seen my share of stool pushing in my day. And circle jerks, as I think I mentioned on that angry Oregonian's blog awhile back. But the Bible does not condone those aberrant sexual practices, so although I have been curious, I am not inclined to give any of those activities a whirl.

Now, Ms. PDD, you are clearly a woman in need of some help that honest love of God can provide. Or perhaps some time in solitary confinement. I have seen solitary confinement take the piss out of ranting bigots who were far more impressive than you in my time.

Please let me know which you prefer, the chains of the lockdown or the chains of love. (I recommend you choose the chains of love. Love of God is the path to true freedom.)

9:51 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Phoenix, they actually have plugs for some of the cars. The plugs go to a little heating element on the engine block that keeps the oil in the engine from becoming thicker than Karo Syrup. Batteries die all the time due to the cold.

the last year that I lived there, my car battery died and I took my gloves off to remove the battery cables (in below 0 temperatures with a 26 below wind chill factor) and I received a case of frost bite on each of my thumbs - it feels the same as if you burn your fingers on the stove. Not fun. I had to get out of that god-forsaken place. The only upside is that it wasn't Canada.

9:53 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

PDD,
I assume you mean reverse.

10:00 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I prefer the chains of the church, with the key thrown away. You bending over to fellate that Priest.

I prefer to sit back and view all of this from my crystal ball while munching on popcorn.

10:00 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Dongley,

killing two birds with one stone does not apply in this case.

I'd rather have Pinky live... under my covers...

10:04 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Reverse cowboy that is-the only way to ride.
The shlong has no use for guns.

He does have use for some ibuprofen this fine day however.

10:06 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I thought you were refering to my gun comment, as riding in reverse goes without saying.

10:12 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

And, given his propensities, Dongley likely has some use for a shot of penicillin as well.

10:12 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

I keep my medicine cabinet well stocked with penicillin, AAA batteries and various lubes and ointemnts too numerous to mention.

10:28 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

his propensities lead him to biweekly blood tests, I hope. Please do not discontinue these tests as I will be meeting you soon on some glamorous island, and I can't go a week without sex.

10:36 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

As an international man of leisure I have to say that I am not feeding The Pendulum to every skank that strolls down the beach and gasps in delight at the sight of me in my zebra thong.
The Pendulum has standards.

Although, things do tend to get out of hand at my luau's.

Psychic dumb-dumb, you may feel free to come to The Pendulum at your convenience.

10:43 AM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I do expect an invitation to your next luau.

10:44 AM, December 15, 2005  
Anonymous Nowhere Girl provided this enlightening comment...

OMG, hairy prison guard and Flamingo have made AMMENDS. A lovely day in blogworld, at least for some.

Now kiss and make up. We need some resident perv action.

7:51 PM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

Hairy Prison Guard is some cheesey made-up character.

Celebrate the difference in climate...don't dread.

8:45 PM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

I celebrated the difference in the climate for 34 years....that's enough celebration.

I'm sure it will be a wonderful white christmas.

10:04 PM, December 15, 2005  
Anonymous Nowhere Girl provided this enlightening comment...

I'm partial to the white Christmas.

It's good for you...

11:58 PM, December 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Flamingo,

You may be shocked to know this, but there is a very large ranch here on Molokai. The ranching business is actually what has allowed me my international man of leisure lifestyle.

At any rate, I'd be happy to have you to my palatial cabana for some roping, branding and riding on the range.

7:31 AM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I want to come, however, there must be some bullet control

8:05 AM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger Drea provided this enlightening comment...

Do you not like the snow Flamingo?

10:43 AM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I've got to go drop off headshots. My father is leaving for three months for Italy on sunday, and I don't even know if I can go and say bye to him, he's not going to be at home tonight. My cousins going to Korea to teach english and my aunt is having an open house for all to say goodbye. We have to attend My husbands nephew's(which is my nephew aswell, but on his side) first b-day party tomorrow. All of this plus x-mas and new years. I think I'm going to go to bed before 12:00pm this New year's eve. This really fucking sucks!

I need a few bottles of wine and a good screw.

10:44 AM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

*Update*

Just got word from my mother. Got to be at my aunt's on Sunday (xmas eve) to say goodbye to my cousin and I have to be at my in-laws simultaneously. I need to find a way how to morph myself form wizard to omnipresent.

1:48 PM, December 16, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous provided this enlightening comment...

Be still my beating heart.

1:50 PM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Sausage?!

2:12 PM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

good night.

3:47 PM, December 16, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

It's sunday my love nuts. God access to a computer w/internet. Gotta go now.

How are your love nuts doing anyway?

9:37 AM, December 18, 2005  

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