Thursday, November 10, 2005

HNT - Oh, yeah...come and get some


Sometimes, late in the evening, I will have a glass of good red wine (preferably a syrah or a cab), I'll kick back and take off all of my work clothes except for these. It is those times when I feel most vulnerable yet most alive. I tingle with excitement as I run my hand down my leg to pull them up around my thick, hard calves. It is still warm in the fall here in Arizona, so I don't feel the need to cover up for warmth - and yet I am warm. Oh, so very warm. So, I lean back in my big, soft brown leather chair and put my feet up on the ottoman. The leather feels nice against my skin and I don't get the vinyl bondage issues that you suffer from naugahyde. I melt into the cushions and gently, so softly and so gently work the buttons of my remote control as if it is my lover...it is. I rhythmically break wind with a velvet softness that produces a sound mildly muted by the leather cushion; the only barrier between me and the rest of the world. It rises in waves in a mixture smelling of rich leather and gaseous effervesence. I sigh. And then I drift gently into unconsciousness with my hand clutching the remote as Everybody Loves Raymond lulls me into joyous oblivion.

24 Comments:

Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Do I have a picture for ewe! I'll try to put it up on my Hillbilly Ritual site.

8:02 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger Omar provided this enlightening comment...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:30 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger Omar provided this enlightening comment...

Damn! I thought I was on Lula's log and I left a comment about hairy palms, but since it's you I guess I don't have anything to say.
Oh what the hell, you a fine little snow bunny too!

8:35 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Hey, I like to put the bass speaker under my chair & find some thump'n drums to listen to. Oh, Yeah!!

9:07 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

I found a baby snake outside today & hugged him to my bosums, does that count?
He loved getting warm in there.
Then-
i had to pull the wing off a fly to feed my writhing(sp) lover, snake, phallas symbol.
& now he is tucked away in a jar.

9:34 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

I was all about that state of mind until you mentioned Raymond. I hate that fuckin show!

10:27 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

I hate it too. That's what made it so perfect.

10:30 PM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

did you see the picture I left for ewe? Ignore the snake thing, O.K.? But, i really did find one. Now if i can keep it alive.

4:36 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger Erin O'Brien provided this enlightening comment...

Flamingo, I hardly know where to begin.

This is about as fine a post as I could wish for.

Although I surely do not want to be anywhere near this activity, I absolutely want to experience it vicariously.

If you continue to produce topnotch output such as this, I'll have to consider going the way of Crusher and his glorious mustache (which you will be reading more about in the coming days over at my place).

In the meantime, I will muse over the irony of simultaneously longing to be your remote control and feeling a somewhat forgiving repulsion towards your big soft brown leather chair, in which I would now never care to sit despite the fact that you successfully describe it as perhaps the most comfortable thrown in all the land.

Bouquets to you ...

6:28 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger Erin O'Brien provided this enlightening comment...

Please, please forgive my "thrown," which in my exuberance, I typed instead of "throne." Alas, I languish in the symptoms of breathlessness.

Also, HNT is defined on www.acronymfinder.com as "hostage negotiation team."

6:51 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger Femi-mommy provided this enlightening comment...

boots = http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5404/1061/1600/bootsnew1.jpg nowhere girl's boots are to... suburban for me =)

i only have one pair of mingo socks.... but mine are MUCH geekier.

6:52 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Your wife is not as lucky as I had thought.

8:04 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger garrett provided this enlightening comment...

buzzkill

10:02 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Curious, do your feet stink?

10:35 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

I have never had an issue with foot odor. Ladies, let me also point out that I have large feet...and you know what that means - big shoes!!

10:37 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Oh, so your the real Ding Dong Longshlong!

11:18 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I mean Shlonglord. Now I just ruined the continuity.

11:22 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Dammit! I hate it when my continuity gets interrupted.

11:27 AM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger t_cole provided this enlightening comment...

i don't want to unnecessarily stroke or encourage if that is against the 'rules' but i gotta tell ya - you guys are a hoot and some of my best laughs this week have come from eavesdropping on your cheeky exchanges...

2:27 PM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

We do make a cute blog couple don't we. A psychic and a pink flamingo go hand in hand like a coffee and a cigarette, or a whore and those funner pills.

2:46 PM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Have a good weekend pinky. I'm going to the LCBO to pick a fine grape. And with all of this slutty talk of sluts and whores and pills and fun, I am going to partake in all of these with my hun, excluding the pills. The wine will substitute for the pills just fine.

I can't wait to tell my husband about the 11 bucks. He's going to love it. He's German, so he hates everyone.

I miss you already.

Lakheim!

3:25 PM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger Sunny provided this enlightening comment...

You crack me up! Could you be my husband minus the Raymond?

7:12 PM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Dammit Flamingo! Get over there & look at my blog & tell me about it.(you know, the picture I left ewe)
or you'll never see it.

8:59 PM, November 11, 2005  
Blogger NowhereGirl provided this enlightening comment...

you sexy biatch!

3:06 PM, November 13, 2005  

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