Saturday, November 12, 2005

FLMNG1 - The Birth


This motorcycle joined my family in November of 2002 and this is the story of FLMNG1 and the Pink Flamingos Motorcycle Club.

THE PINK FLAMINGOS MOTORCYCLE CLUB

Beginning right away in November of 2002, I began to ride - a lot. Every available chance, I hit the road. I rode on Saturdays, Sundays and, of course, I rode every day to work. Every work day I would reach the turn into my office parking lot and fight the calling of the road. The urge to keep going straight instead of making that turn was almost unbearable on certain days. I loved riding.

Several months after I purchased my bike, my cousin Scott, purchased a 2004 Harley Davidson Electriglide Standard. We began riding together.

If you ride, you will be able to confirm that there are a lot of motorcycle clubs out there. Every biker bar, bike rally or event will be just full of people wearing their biker costume. I call them biker costumes because, let's face it, come Monday morning these dudes wearing chaps and vests hang them up and put on their work clothes and go to their jobs as accountants, lawyers, doctors, stock brokers, etc. The average Harley costs north of $25,000 (once you get some of the chrome options and a couple of bells and whistles). It isn't easy for the average working guy to afford one of these machines. I bought a Honda primarily for that reason.

I found the culture and the costumes comical. How can chaps be anything but comical?

Joining clubs has never been a strongsuit. Even after attending and enjoying several Jimmy Buffett concerts, the thought of being a Parrothead repulses me. It seems silly and contrite. It seemed silly and contrite to join a club to ride a motorcycle.

The crossed-wiring within my brain twisted this comical, silly, contrite situation into my personal send-up of the motorcycle club; the Pink Flamingo Motorcycle Club was born.

At this point, there were arguably two members of the Pink Flamingos Motorcycle Club. Most of the argument came from my cousin, Scott. "I'm not a member of the Pink Flamingos. We are going to get our asses kicked!" he would implore.

My response - what motorcycle club is going to want to mess with a group of riders rolling down the highway wearing pink and singing showtunes? First, if you beat them up, you have beat up a group of guys wearing pink and singing showtunes. Alternatively, if they beat you up, you just got beat up by a bunch of guys wearing pink and singing showtunes. Clearly any other motorcycle club would fear the Flamingos.

FLMNG1

Once the Pink Flamingo Motorcycle Club was born, I christened my bike Flamingo 1 (sort of like Airforce One...get it?!). Since I developed the concept and built the infrastructure, I deemed myself the president of the Pink Flamingos Motorcycle Club and thus thought the president should ride Flamingo 1.

As it turns out, personalized license plates for motorcycles do not hold enough characters for "FLAMINGO1"...so, naturally, you just take out the vowels. That's what most people do when they get their little message personalized on their license plates. I did. When you take out the vowels, you get FLMNG1 - That fits on the license plate!

Thus, FLMNG1 was born. I never actually bought the personalized license plate, but I still laugh at the concept. The pictures show the front left lapel and the back of our shirts...and yes, I do wear them when I ride. I recently rode in a poker run - a ride of about 300 miles - and proudly wore my colors the entire time. Nobody messed with me even though I really don't know the words to any showtunes.

54 Comments:

Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

So, if I tried to keep up on a small-scale electric moped, would you guys just laugh and leave me in the dust?

3:44 PM, November 12, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Hells no! That is exactly the image we are trying to portray.

5:19 PM, November 12, 2005  
Blogger Linda Maloney provided this enlightening comment...

OMG111 That is sooo kewt111 you're moterbyke gots a reel neet paynt job111 its allmost liek... sepia o re sump-thingy.

BTW- sorrie four not wrighting in meee log moor, butt I ben bizzy trieing too finesh up miy dissertation.
PS- I thinck I spelld "meee" rong:(

7:18 PM, November 12, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

The only time leather chaps are not comical is when that is all you are wearing, well that and a red rubber ball in your mouth.

7:25 PM, November 12, 2005  
Blogger Jesus Toast provided this enlightening comment...

when I was a teen, the husband of our band manager rode a Harley and they were both factory workers, so definately not doctor or lawyer salaries...he was in a "club" in Detroit, and this bike was the most expensive thing they owned. Every night, he drove it through the front door and parked it smack in the middle of the living room.

6:54 AM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger The Phoenix provided this enlightening comment...

I just visited the Harley Davidson Research and Development facility in Wisconsin. Very very cool. They are up to some very unique and great new things.

They have this hidden track to test out prototypes and stuff, and the place is secure like the Pentagon.

8:52 AM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Toast is correct. There are two types of Harley riders. Those that are doctors, lawyers, etc. and those that make every sacrifice in life to own a bike. I guess you have to admire their resolve.

2:03 PM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger NowhereGirl provided this enlightening comment...

If you buy the plates... I'll buy a "Born to FLock" t-shirt!!! I want one, you big Flamer! ;-)!

3:08 PM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

I still want a smallscale moped that looks like the smallest motorbike possible. If I could find one that can run on vegeatble oil/biodiesel, I'd get it that same day.

3:09 PM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

you guys love your motorcykles. That's great but, lets get on to more exciting stuff.
I know about moter-bikes. I had a boyfriend once w/a Honda bike. Hey, it was in the 70's.
Anyway we went on a long ride(a few 100 miles) and then...I could not comb my hair for a week.
Give me some luv, pink guy.

9:18 PM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Pink guy, that Linda Baloney is weird.
Stay away!

9:20 PM, November 13, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, I haven't read all of your most recent blogs yet, just got into the office and I wanted to tell you something immediately.

Since I tell my husband everything, including the blog universe; My blogs, your blogs, comments from myself to you and you to me, so on and so forth, my husband turns to me as we are driving home friday evening and says: "I think you have the hots for this guy (referring to you). I turn to him and say: "Hun, he's a pink flamingo from Arizona. Unless I take off and give you no reason as to why I'm going to Arizona, there's nothing to worry about". Then I continue, "Besides, you're too outrageously handsome to look elsewhere." Aside from the truth of him being outrageously handsome, it sure pacified him properly.

I'll check in later and read everything you've written recently. It's good to know you've been productive over the weekend.

6:19 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

... I guess you're not up yet pinky... I'll check in later, that's if I'm not fired by then...

7:41 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger NowhereGirl provided this enlightening comment...

A pink Flamingo and a Psychic Dumb-DUmb... what a hot and sexy combo! ;-)

8:50 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, you need an endorphin rush.

9:22 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Also, Linda Maloney, or as l>t so accurately put it, BALONEY, you're getting extremely annoying, so please stop the nonsense. It's not funny or ammusing. It's dumb and uniteresting and IT'S GOT TO STOP! So stop in immediately you bimbastard!

9:29 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

sorry linda, Sometimes I'm an ass. I'm just the jeolous type

9:40 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

i'm working hard to be a nice person. The stange thing is I always have to check all the sites I've visited the night before and take back what I've said. for some reason I think I'm clever in the evening. Or i have a split personality. The bad and evil l>t comes out at night

9:52 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

These bastards are making me work hard today. My work load goes up incrementally based on how stupid other people behave or how poorly they do their jobs.

Please assure your husband that I have no immediate plans to visit the greater Canadian metropolitan area (although I have always wanted to go to Moosejaw). Your marriage is safe from attack by Flamingo1 - for the moment.

I have also noted a series of "Mrs. Robinson" themed posts today. I am happy to see that the middle-aged man is finally getting what he has earned. These chiseled, hard-bodied youngsters (like The Game) are really no match intellectually.

Additionally, those of us whom have taken the time to perfectly hone our bodies into the shape of a pear should not be overlooked in favor of some muscle-bound youngster that spends half his day in the gym and the other half looking at his rippling muscles. We have jobs...and I think a steady income does as much to trigger that instinctive behavior as a tight stomach.

I have recently started wearing workshirts with my name sewn on the chest...just because I like to hear Erin purr. They look at me funny at the office, but what the hell. It's all worth it.

11:32 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Okay, that's it, i've decided, you're my blog husband. I can not let anyone that funny slip through my blog fingers.

11:39 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Revision:

Comment I made for Linda Baloney: Meant to say STOP IT, Not IN. What a disaster.

11:54 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, one more thing; I've noticed you're already cheating on me. Your desire to hear another woman purr has broken my heart, so now, I want a divorce.

11:58 AM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I'm just begining to read your archives section pink, but it was short lived because I have to go back to work... you don't pay my bills, leave me alone.

I got a chance to read just a bit about how you like wine - the whole edam cheese bit - I like. I like. I promise to read everything before my life is up.

I know it's getting annoying now, all of these comments by psychic dumb-dumb alone. I don't get as much time as I would like in the blogsphere, so I have to get it out as much as possible. Yes, Pinky, I love to bust your ass.

Until next time...

12:17 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Linda Maloney provided this enlightening comment...

psychic dumb-dumb,
y r u being so meen?
y wood u get sooo upset abowt my comets7
It's not liek you have to reed them.

BTW- what does uniteresting meen?
is that like, a new political party or something?
And- "pinky" was mine before he was yours, so lick my plate you dog dick!

12:25 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Erin O'Brien provided this enlightening comment...

purrrr.

12:25 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

BALONEY: I'm upset with your "COMETS" because they are eclipsing the blogsphere with stupidity!

Look up uninteresting in the dictionary, you moron. I can not do all of the work.

It is a word pinky.

And Pinky was never yours Baloney. He is only good for the birds. (Pinky, I don't mean that in a derogatory way, I just love how it sounds.)

Since Erin is the most Classy in her response, she wins the battle and is the only one worthy of Pinks love. I give it to you Erin, you are the best.

1:24 PM, November 14, 2005  
Anonymous Party Boy provided this enlightening comment...

Creepy dude.

I thought you were only in to man love?

1:34 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Psychic, Linda is from Purvis (similar to Omar, Chuck Dawson and - sniff - my friend Crusher). She is "special."

Party boy, I am not into man love. I am just very comfortable with my sexual identity. Chicks dig that. Chicks also dig being called "chicks."

Just follow my lead, I know all the moves like "the double-guns" - that's where you point at a chick with both index fingers and make that gun clicking sound with your mouth at the same time. It lets em know that you are thinking about them and they like that.

This may be just the sort of inspiration I need for the next post - Blog Dating Tips From the Quasi-Heterosexual Flamingo1.

1:42 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Linda Maloney provided this enlightening comment...

dumb,
the "blogsphere" is already eclipsed with stupidity, and anyone who takes it seriously is equally fucking stupid.

Aww, u jealus, dumb?
I couldn't find any ptshures of u on your log (granted I didn't luuk very hard) but I'm guessing "pinky" wouldn't fuck you with B Arthurs dick.
You can hide behind your wine-tasting-connoisseur bullshit image all you want, but I am the reel deel.

BTW- look at all the comments you're spamming flamingo's site with! You must have the dignity of a crack whore.

oh well, you bore me. I think I'll go see what I can stir up in Australia.

1:54 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

One thing I have to agree with, is women digging guys that are comfortable with their sexuality. AND YES, YOU ARE CORRECTOMONDO my friend. There is nothing that turns me off more than a guy who gets all freakish talking about the good looks of other men etc. etc. I've gotta go, My boss just steped in...

1:59 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Something to ponder - why do people sometimes call them "assless chaps" - if they had an ass, they would be pants.

2:01 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Did I mention that Brad Pitt is dreamy?

2:03 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

This reminds me, I need to get my chaps and riding crop back from the cleaners.

2:07 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Ms. Maloney looks like the kind of woman who wouldn't hold up an umbrella when the Polynesian Islands start raining on her if you know what I mean.

2:08 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Who said anything about taking it seriously, you woolly mamoth. But your spelling gimmik is just flat out boring and annoying. So that is the point I was trying to make, fool.

I find it pathetic that you find it amusing to create an entire blog without typing one word correctly. That is trite and boring and... you are a waste of my time, so I give up on you.

As for the "Real Deal", the real deal for you is that you are a complete idiotic fool. Get a life you bozo!!

This is the last word I'm going to have with you. No more. You are a waste of my time. Type what you will. I will not respond.

2:24 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I love you dongley shlonglord!

2:25 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

I received a lot of comments on this posting, however, it concerns me a little. I really think the prior posting that I made on Friday was better. Unfortunately it was lost or ignored due to the weekend.

Erin, I love it when you purr!

2:49 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Pinky, take it while it lasts.

2:54 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

At my age, you have to. Plus, Ms. Psychic, you have proven to be a fickle mistress.

Oh, I have seen the discussions of age and maturity over youth and ripped abs today, but Psychic has hit on the one thing that women really find attractive -

Dongley with a penis 3/4 the size of his entire body...If only I had that!

3:12 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

You may indeed Psychic, if you get lucky.

Things are certainly picking up around here. And I haven't even put on my grass skirt yet. Nothing makes the women rabid like the sight of the shlonger in his grass skirt and coconut bustier.

3:50 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Chuck Dawson provided this enlightening comment...

Hey man, I couldn't help but notice that Linda had come over here stirring up trouble. I apologize for her stupidity and lack of respect for your log, Flamingo.

Linda,
people find you annoying here (as with anywhere), maybe you should follow Crusher's lead.

Psychic,
you shouldn't have called Linda a "woolly mammoth" Linda has a weight and body hair issue and your comment was just flat-out below the belt, man. There is much to Linda Maloney that has never been revealed to the logging community. She doesn't write new posts anymore because she lost her job and has limited access to the computer. Oh well, you may just get your wish psychic, she most likely is so hurt by your hateful comments that she won't show her face again. It's to bad too, she's very pretty on the inside.

dumb-dumb,
you were a little mean and I think you should apologize. Your attack was uncalled for.

5:00 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

Oh dear god...I pray that there won't be another suicide in Purvis.

The community will be destroyed.

6:00 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger Femi-mommy provided this enlightening comment...

i think chaps can be very "un"comical in the right situations - i think i'm going to go make one of those situations now =)

ps - babe go look at the post of my helmet
http://thoughtsandconfessions.blogspot.com/2005/05/come-n-get-yer-quicky.html thought you may appreciate the stickers =)

7:25 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

you mean pervertus, Miss.

7:31 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Let's hear what you think women like. Us girls will let you know if you know what you're talking about. The 'Mrs. Robinsons'. If you watched the movie you will see she wasn't sleeping with 40 year olds.
1. We like to be called chicks?

7:38 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

The stickers are great!!! Love the palm tree and the flamingo!

7:50 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

2. Penis 3/4 the size of the body?

8:00 PM, November 14, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

More suicides! more suicides!

Gear up folks, it's Christmas time!

8:19 AM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger L>T provided this enlightening comment...

Famingo your sexist attitude is why you get lovely women like Linda on your blog. Penis size; belive me it matters more to you then to us 'experenced' women. we know there is more to it then a big penis.
girls like to be called chicks;
Girls maybe, & I suspect the only ones of those you get would be retarded sisters of you know who or girls who will take your money & pretend to like it.

9:12 AM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Can you count the ways... how many girls faked it with you pinky? And are you well equiped to know the difference??

xoxoxoxoxox

You see, my soft spot for you has infultrated my soul; I have to add xoxoxoxoxox after an insult. I'm going to hell.

10:09 AM, November 15, 2005  
Anonymous Garrett provided this enlightening comment...

Chin Chuckin'

12:11 PM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Gobble Gobble??

1:42 PM, November 15, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Okay flocker, who the hell is chucky? Have you been corresponding long with him??

I don't think I have much else to say other than that. Oh, and yeah, he's from Purvis, which makes him pointless.

You should read what he wrote in my comment section for my most recent post (which you have already read) I couldn't stop laughing as I pictured this smelly toothless welfarian
hyperventilate. It is truly hysterical. Just wanted to share that with you.

Talk soon,

PDD

2:02 PM, November 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous provided this enlightening comment...

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