Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Too Much Stuff - Too Little Time


The news of my death has been greatly exaggerated. Between trips to the airport, family events, trips to the emergency room and work (stupid work), my time has just be absolutely eaten up like that turkey carcass. Sleeping has also become optional. I will be happy to hit January.

This morning I noticed this article:
Canadians Vote to Throw Out Government

As you may know, I mistrust Canadians - they look just like us, they talk mostly like us, but they are from an entirely different country. Clearly they are up to something.

From time to time, I have taunted them. On one comment left somewhere out there in the greater Blogosphere, I left a message for PDD stating, "Canada has a government?!?! When did we let that happen?"

As soon as I found out that they had a government, I took immediate steps to change that. Among those things I described above (family, yadda, yadda, yadda..) I also spent some time bringing down the Canadian government. It really wasn't very hard, I just offered a couple of folks some slabs of back bacon and a couple of Molson's and they were more than happy to do anything that I asked of them.

It is now our opportunity to annex Canada to the United States. I suggest we rename it Even Norther Dakota.

I welcome your thoughts on what we can do with Canada. The most creative use offered up for Canada will be named Governor of Even Norther Dakota. I wish you all good luck.

30 Comments:

Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

First, I will be voting Paul Martin by default. We Canadians have no real options with respect to choosing a government, that's for sure. Also, I noticed that glamorous Salvador Dali painting you posted - good job! Always liked that fellow.

Second, last I heard you guys in Arizona are running out of water. You'll be up here soon enough stealing ours, I'm sure. I'd like to see what you have to say when you are drooling like a dirty animal.

Third, there is nothing to be afraid of us Canadians. Yes, we look the same, and talk the same, and live in different country. The only difference is that we sit back and think for longer than a second before making a rash decision.

Thank You, thank you very much.

P.S. Why did you have to submit to emergency??

Glad you're back!

8:42 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

PDD takes the lead for governorship with the suggestion of: Pump out all of the water and send it to Arizona!

Thanks for your submission, PDD.

The trip to the emergency room was due to an ankel sprain. Marquez tripped while delivering Mai Tais to me on my patio (or during basketball practice). We thought he had broken his leg - fortunately (I guess), it was just a sprain. We are having his crutches fitted with a tray holder so that he can continue his cabana boy duties.

8:45 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

It's good to hear you maintain him properly.

8:48 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger garrett provided this enlightening comment...

When I saw the headline of the article you linked (I still recommend including the HTML code 'target="_blank" in your URLs, by the way; makes it easier on your readers), I was immensely hopeful. I thought perhaps freedom-minded people had really struck (stricken?) a blow for the cause of humanity - getting rid of their government.

But unfortunately it looks like the Canucks are just going to replace their current government with a different government.

Big difference.

8:51 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game provided this enlightening comment...

There's a state (or province I guess its called--you know, they have to be different) called "Nuinavet"???? It looks utterly desolate. Not often a Nebraskan gets to say that! Canada makes us look like Palm Springs!

Remember that one dorky ass song Bob and Dave did in the early 80's with Geddi Lee--Take Off? What a promo for Canada.

9:12 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Nunavut. Yes, the Inuit's paradise.

9:31 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Normally, I like my islands Polynesian-and so do the ladies, but this Nuinavet looks to have some potential. I might have to abstain for a day, maybe even two but I think I could get that mapped. I don't know how it will play however. Canadian cartography just doesn't have the same ooh factor as Polynesian cartography.

9:47 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Shlonglord, Squirt until you melt Nunavut.

10:03 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Now I've got to leave the office and drop headshots off. I'll check in later.

10:25 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Headshots. I drop those off a lot as well. Very popular these days.

10:52 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

lol!

11:19 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger crallspace provided this enlightening comment...

I say we take up that initiative here. WE need to get rid of the current tyrrany that is ruining our future.

I have always loved Canadians. They can teach us a thing or 2.

11:46 AM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I love you even more Crall

12:00 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger garrett provided this enlightening comment...

Crall - I love your enthusiasm. Getting rid of the current tyranny is a great idea. But I've seen enough of your blog to be concerned as to what manner of tyranny you would prefer as a replacement.

12:10 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

So far:

1. Pump the water to Arizona (PDD)
2. Allow Canada to take over our government(Crall)

There seems to be a wide divergence between these two points. There must be some additional suggestions that you can come up with.

12:22 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

Move to Molokai.
Drink Don Julio.
Map Island chains on beach babes.
Forget Arizona and Canada.

12:33 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger garrett provided this enlightening comment...

If that's what Crall was suggesting, I mis-understood him. That is a terrible idea and I disagree wholeheartedly with it.

The Canadians aren't much better than us in terms of having an extremly large, overly-active central government. They're less military (to my knowledge), but quite statist.

1:02 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

We should immediately begin calling our law enforcement fellows "Mounties" however.

Speaking of Mounting, I have just had a rather large, and unkempt beaver pelt mounted. Nothing quite like a well-mounted pelt to enliven ones palatial beach-front abode.

It is my first assay into the world of Taxidermy, and I must say, stuffing all of these pelts could be more satisfying than Polynesian cartography.

1:07 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

I think Crall was actually saying - SUBVERT THE DOMINANT PARADIGM. But I will let him speak for himself.

1:10 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

I think Shlonglords suggestions of
moving to Molokai, and the rest that follows is the best one yet.

Will you pick out my bikini Shlonglord?? I like pink.

1:32 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger The Phoenix provided this enlightening comment...

Those crazy Canadians!

But hey, they gave us Alanis. We gave them Britney. I think we came out ahead on that one. Oh wait, Britney never became a Canadian citizen.

Hey Canada, you want Britney????

1:32 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger FLAMINGO1 provided this enlightening comment...

They also gave us Celine Dion. I'm not sure that there is anything we can give them to get even for that one.

1:39 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford provided this enlightening comment...

I like pink too!

1:48 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger NowhereGirl provided this enlightening comment...

He lives. Hooray!

1:48 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Yes, Celine Dion. She definately needs to calm down. Fine, she has a voice and a half, but she is not an artist in my eyes. artists conceptualize, not just repeat skill over and over and over again. Pinky, I'm with you on that one.

1:52 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Femi-mommy provided this enlightening comment...

you're alive! you're alive!

2:11 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Chuck Dawson provided this enlightening comment...

Celine, Alanis, "You Can't Do That On Telivision"... on the other hand they produced Rush, "The Red Green Show", and The Burt Neilson Band.
They do continue to plant trees, whereas we mostly just destroy them... I guess I don't really have a problem with Canada. (Introducing Alanis and Celine to the world was just wrong, though)

2:16 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger PDD provided this enlightening comment...

Nighty night. It's 4:59 pm and I don't get paid enough to stick around.

3:00 PM, November 29, 2005  
Blogger Erin O'Brien provided this enlightening comment...

missed you, darling.

purr.

3:14 PM, November 29, 2005  
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9:33 PM, March 02, 2007  

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